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Grieving Is Loving: Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable (Paperback)
In the style of a quote-a-day collection, this book from Wisdom’s bestselling author Joanne Cacciatore distills down the award-winning book Bearing the Unbearable into easy-to-access small chunks, and includes much brand-new material, including new prose and poems from Dr. Jo and other sources as well.
From INDIES Gold Medal Award-Winner and Wisdom Bestseller Joanne Cacciatore
If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human. This book is a companion to carry with you throughout your day, to touch in with and be supported by when bearing the unbearable pain of a loved one’s death—whether weeks or years since their passing. Our culture often makes the bereaved feel alone, isolated, broken, and like they should just “get over it”—this book offers a loving antidote. Open to any page and you’ll find something that will instantly help you feel not alone, while honoring the full weight of loss.
This book is comprised of quotations from Bearing the Unbearable, and other sources as well, plus an enormous amount of new material from Dr. Jo. Especially well-suited for the grieving mind that may struggle with concentration, just 30 seconds on any page will empower, hearten, and validate any bereaved person—helping give strength and courage to bear life’s most painful losses.
Praise for Bearing the Unbearable
“This masterpiece is the greatest gift I could give to someone entrenched in grief, or to the loved ones of the bereaved.”—The Tattooed Buddha
“Simply the best book I have ever read on the process of grief.”—Huffington Post
“Anyone who's trying to deal with a loss, or anyone who knows someone dealing with a loss, (and in truth, isn't that everyone?) will benefit from reading this amazing book.”—Foreword Reviews
“It offers hope for those who feel like their loss has disconnected themselves forever from humanity and the circle of life.”—Doug Bremner, MD, professor of psychiatry, Emory University and author of You Can’t Just Snap Out of It
“This is a holy book, riddled with insight and compassion.”—Francis Weller, author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow
About the Author
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore is a Zen priest, the founder of the international NGO the MISS Foundation, author of the award-winning best seller, Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and The Heartbreaking Path of Grief, professor at Arizona State University, and a bereaved mom since the death of her daughter in 1994. She is also the founder of Selah Carefarm, the first carefarm for the traumatically bereaved in the U.S. and a haven for animals rescued from abuse, neglect, and torture. She is an acclaimed public speaker and provides expert consulting services in the area of traumatic loss. Her research has been published in peer-reviewed journals such as The Lancet, Social Work and Healthcare, and Death Studies, among others.
"An empathetic and compassionate companion. Anyone who has mourned a loss will find Cacciatore’s insights to be helpful."
— Publishers Weekly
“This ineffably beautiful compendium of grief wisdom is much more than a book: it’s a companion. To read it is to be held, sustained, and enriched.”
— Gabor Mate, M.D., author of In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction
"Writing with tenderness, simplicity, and care, Dr. Cacciatore offers a profound guide to healing and wholeness in the midst of grief and loss. It’s really an extraordinary book. Each sentence feels utterly honest. Each page is a balm for a wounded heart. Anyone who has suffered in this life will find compassionate, helpful wisdom here."
— Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness
"This book is filled with a deep wisdom that, when applied, can heal the pain and grief one experiences from losing a loved one."
— The Minimalists
"Grieving Is Loving is a book of profound compassion and wisdom and strength—and it’s the best kind of strength: the kind that comes not from fighting and suppressing pain but from going to our most vulnerable places in a spirit of deep love. Dr. Jo is teaching us how to grieve, and in doing so, she is teaching us how to love—how to love the people we have lost, and to love our own wounds, and what they can now inspire us to do to honor those who are gone."
— from the foreword by Johann Hari
"This inspiring book provides heartful reminders that love and grief are in an eternal embrace."
— Frank Ostaseski, author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
“This book is a gentle and kind guide to navigating the journey of loss and sorrow, keeping one company along the way.”
— Narayan Helen Liebenson, author of The Magnanimous Heart: Compassion and Love, Loss and Grief, Joy and Liberation
“Even when every fiber of our being is quietly calling us to yield to the sacred shattering that is the grief experience, it can feel overwhelming to fully inhabit our pain and allow it to transform us. But we do not have to do it alone. Joanne Cacciatore’s new book is a warm, loving, fiercely protective companion on the journey into the holy fire of loss. With this luminous collection of reflections from one of the foremost wisdom teachers on the alchemy of grief and loss, we can meet and bless the fullness of our experience as an offering of love to the one who has died and an affirmation of the innate wisdom of the broken-open heart.”
— Mirabai Starr, author of Caravan of No Despair and Wild Mercy
“Grieving Is Loving is a good spiritual friend, a warm hand to anyone seeking companions in bearing the unbearable. With tender compassion and insight, Joanne Cacciatore walks with us shoulder to shoulder in our grief, bringing us into a world of tender vitality.”
— Koshin Paley Ellison, author of Wholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up and an editor of Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care
“Grieving Is Loving is a wise, moving, and compassionate book. Reading it brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of the loss of loved ones thirty and forty-five years ago. Not only should its message be read and internalized by those suffering the loss of a beloved, but also by those with friends who have lost or are likely to lose someone in the future—in other words, by everyone.”
— Irving Kirsch, PhD, Harvard Medical School, University of Connecticut, University of Hull, author of The Emperor’s New Drugs: Exploding the Antidepressant Myth
“The engaging sentiments in this book, shared by someone who has been there in the depths of grief, will provide comfort and confirmation to every bereaved person who opens it. This compilation of writing by some of the sharpest minds and sacred souls, including the author’s, begs to be read, reread, and shared.”
— Donna L. Schuurman, EdD, FT, senior director of advocacy and training, the Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families
“A beautiful contemplation on grief that is wise and will serve so many.”
— Roshi Joan Halifax, author of Being with Dying
"?Bearing the Unbearable was impossible to put down. It quickly becomes obvious that you are reading a book that is rich with imagery blended with emotion and tied into traumatic stories of loss. Woven within the chapters, Dr. Cacciatore also offers extra guidance that may be helpful for palliative and hospice providers as she talks about how she maintains resilience in the face of her magnetism that draws the public to share with her their most vibrant and terrible stories of loss. Bearing the Unbearable is beautiful, and a must read for caregivers, bereaved parents, and learners. It is the closest thing to having a deep unlimited conversation with parents carrying their child forever at their side."
— Mary Ann Liebert, Inc.